Desperate

I mentioned in my last post that I asked my aunt for help with understanding Mark 5:27.  I am a huge fan of my aunt's blog and how she always seems to interpret things beautifully so I knew I had to ask her.

The way she explained this verse felt like she was talking about me.  Here's this woman who has felt like an outcast for the last 12 years and "in her desperate faith she knew even the slightest amount of His power could heal her" so she risked everything to touch Him.

I spent the last seven years of my life feeling like an outcast.  I wasn't the "real" me, I wasn't the Sarah that the Lord wanted me to be.  I wasn't living my life for Him.  I wasn't seeking His will for my life.  I was struggling to fake it day to day.  All the while, the 'sugar coating' was slowly melting away.  When all of that coating had finally dissolved, I was left with nothing and began to look for something more. 

What was that something more?

It took me 7 months, a divorce, an unusual relationship, an 'almost' addiction, burned bridges, a move, and a job transition to find it.

I had finally become desperate.

Desperate enough to realize that the Lord would meet me where I was.

Desperate enough to let Him turn to me and single me out.

Desperate enough to let Him bestow His grace and mercy on me.