Faith

Google definition:  1. Complete trust  or confidence in someone or something. 2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

What does that word really mean?  I’ve been contemplating that over the last few weeks. 

The Lord has repeatedly sent me Mark 5:27 when I’ve asked for a verse. 

“When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak.”

The first 10 times I read this verse over the last few months, I didn’t get it.  I was on the verge of giving up and something told me to reach out and get help with it.  So I did.  I emailed my mother and my aunt for their takes on it.

 My mother instructed me to read down a little further and my eyes went straight to verse 34.

“He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.””

followed by verse 36..

“Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid, just believe.””

That’s when I realized that this was going to about my faith

or lack thereof.

My life has been turned completely upside down the last year and a half.  Some things have gone my way while others have not.  Admittedly, I tried to take control of the ones that haven’t gone my way, which proves my lack of faith in what the Lord is doing in my life.  As they always say, when you hit rock bottom and realize that you cannot do it on your own, that is when you start healing.  I never knew and hoped to never have to find out how true this was, but alas, He had to get my attention somehow.

As Serena Woods once said, “God will do what He has to do to get you to REALLY see Him, what He’s done, and that He doesn’t play by our rules”.  Amen, sister.

I spent many many days in tears and screaming from the inside that I didn’t know where to go or what to do, but I never once hit my knees and asked the one person that knew where I was going or what I was supposed to do for direction.

 Shame on me.  I knew better. 

The Lord has brought me to the other side and I now have faith in Him and what He’s doing.  I no longer play by my rules, but by His.  I no longer spend days in tears screaming from the inside that I don’t know where to go or what to do, because I know He guides me. 

Because I have faith..