undeserving

The last two months of my life have been nothing short of an undeserving blessing from my amazing and loving Heavenly Father.

I have finally found every single thing that I have spent my entire life searching for.

and I don't deserve it

at all.

I know the things that I have done in my past and the things that have been done to me that, in my mind, define me as undeserving.  The best part is that these things don't matter.  These things don't matter to Jesus.  His unending love, mercy, and grace have covered me.  

My list could go on and on, but to name a few..

I have been blessed with unconditional love.

I have been blessed with someone that really wants to know me.  Past the surface.

I have been blessed with someone who will not judge me.

I have been blessed with encouragement.

I have been blessed with someone who makes me a better mother..

a better friend..

a better Christian..

a better person.

I am so undeserving of all of these things because they are what I have always lacked.  My marriage failed because I couldn't love unconditionally.  The "surface" was all I was willing to learn about anyone.  I am guilty of being judgmental.  I am terrible at being an encouragement.  And I am willing to bet I am not the reason anyone is a better mother, friend, Christian, or person.

My faith in the Lord has provided me this man and his love.  The faith that my Father in Heaven would take care of me. The faith that His unending love, mercy, and grace would cover me and change me.